\"Help, My Teenager Hates Me!\" is the fifth episode of the twenty-fifth season of the American animated television series South Park. The 316th episode overall of the series, it premiered on Comedy Central in the United States on March 9, 2022. This episode features the boys having to learn to deal with the angst and frustration of teenagers, as the boys want to play Airsoft and find teenagers are their only willing participants.
The next day, Stan and Kenny are playing Airsoft with their teenagers at the range. Stan and his teenager try to kill Kenny for points, but receive a penalty for shooting Kenny within ten feet. His teenager is upset but Stan assures him it is \"just a gay rule\" so they can keep playing. Stan calls Kyle to find out where he is, but he is at a grocery store with his teenager Trevor buying hair gel, though Trevor is not cooperative. He promises to be at the range soon, then runs into Cartman, who is also there shopping with his teenager, who needs lotion, and according to Cartman, spends most of his time in the bathroom using lotion. Stan, in the middle of the night, receives an unexpected call from his teenager declaring that he is not gay, insisting Stan called him gay earlier when discussing the rules. Stan reassures him he did not mean so, referencing his support for Sparky, but his teenager only becomes angrier and begins explaining he is burning his hand with a lighter. The next morning at Denny's, the boys all get coffee and vent about their recent problems. Cartman complains his teenager does nothing but talk about life and hide in the bathroom and Kyle complains his has threatened to kill him. Determined to not give up on Airsoft, Kyle shares a book called Help! My Teenager Hates Me! which suggests they go camping as a bonding experience, but the teenagers remain bored and complain, with Cartman's again taking to using a bathroom with lotion.
After the winning, the boys walk home with their dads and talk about how they would not expect to see the teenagers again, with Stuart observed breaking their guns in frustration. The boys are grateful for the dads' help, and the dads are happy to have spent time with them. Jimbo, hungry, asks where they can get a hot dog and Cartman invites the boys into the Coney Island Hotdog to make food. Waiting outside, Randy raises his weapon and suggests taking them out while they are still children, before they can become teenagers, but Gerald points out they still have time before they turn into monsters.
Bait-and-Switch: When the airsoft gun cashier warns Gerald that his son and his friends will be playing against teenagers, it seems that they may be too much of a challenge for them in airsoft matches. However, the Boys handle them quite well against them during the matches and the real problem is dealing with them afterwards. A meta example. The viewer is initially led to believe this episode is about how terrible airsoft is much like Ziplining in \"I Should Have Never Gone Ziplining\". In reality, it's the people who play it that are terrible (teenagers) as the sport itself is pretty fun. BFG: Jimbo arms himself with an airsoft minigun to gun down the teenagers. Big Damn Heroes: The Boys' dads (plus Jimbo filling the role of Cartman's dad) help them get rid of the teenagers by joining the airsoft game themselves. Bitch in Sheep's Clothing: After their first game together, some of the teenagers take a liking to the Boys and appear to hang out with them afterward, like Kyle's teen, who offers him to show him how to clean his gun. Unfortunately, the moment they arrive at each of the Boys' homes, they show how nasty they are. Bittersweet Ending: Thanks to the help of their fathers and Jimbo, the Boys were able to banish the obnoxious teenagers from Blinky's Airsoft, allowing them to have fun playing airsoft again. However, the fathers acknowledge that eventually puberty will make their sons become just like those teenagers, with them reflecting on enjoying the years before that happens. Bratty Teenage Daughter: The teenagers are male examples, and their brattiness is present from the moment they are introduced. They are all very whiny and self-centered, and they sulk about doing non-airsoft activities such as shopping for items they want in the first place and going camping with the Boys. Breather Episode: Immediately following an episode tackling the Ukraine/Russia Conflict, this episode doesn't cover any world news or political issues, instead it follows the Boys doing a regular fun activity, with the most meta examples listed under Take That! below, and the issues dealt with by the teenagers and the Boys as parental substitutes are pretty much reflective of how it's been since the 1990snote the concept of being a teenager was actually recognized and popularized in The '50s, but the advent of computers and cell phones gave birth to youth trends like the \"Bruh\" slang for example. In fact, with how the most outrageous thing that happens here is that teenagers start living with the boys and treating them like parents, this can be considered a slow day for the town of South Park. Caught with Your Pants Down: Cartman catches his teenager masturbating in the bathroom after breaking through the door.Cartman: What you do to Jergens lotion isn't right. Characterization Marches On: Stan tries being nice to his teenager to get him to cooperate. Chekhov's Gag: The teenager assigned to Cartman is almost always shown being in the bathroom, and Cartman tries to process why he needs so much lotion. When Cartman breaks through the bathroom door during the final game, he discovers the same teenager keeps going to the bathroom to masturbate, which explains the amount of lotion. Cluster F-Bomb: The teenagers throw these around like they're hotcakes.Teenager: (to Kyle) I'm fucking starving to death, can you make me some fucking food! Comically Missing the Point: Cartman wonders why his teen needs a lot of lotion to keep his hands clean, not realizing that he is using it when he's sitting on the toilet masturbating. Continuity Nod: Cartman's new hot dog stand home from \"City People\" is shown here and Cartman laments living in there until the very end. When talking to his teenager, Stan mentions his dog Sparky is gay and how the dog encouraged him to remind the whole town that being gay is okay, which was first brought up in \"Big Gay Al's Big Gay Boat Ride\". During the final airsoft game, Randy lures the teenagers into a trap by leaving out a can of Tegridy Farms Vaccination Special. Curb-Stomp Battle: The Boys, their dads, and Jimbo destroy the teens in the last airsoft match without any losses. According to Kenny's father, some teens raged so hard they broke their own guns. Does This Remind You of Anything: The boys basically treat the teenagers as though they were the fathers/guardians of the teenagers themselves. Kyle even gets a book that has the same title as the episode to try and connect with them, and the said book explains the conflict arises in the \"age difference\", so the boys even go as far as to try and bond with the teenagers by camping. The Dreaded: Teenagers are considered so terrible that not even their own parents can stand them. Gerald even compares them to psychopaths. Dumbass Teenage Son: The teenagers whom the Boys are looking after are extremely stupid and lazy. Stan's teenager doesn't know to make ramen noodles let alone realize there's a sink right behind him to get the water from. Forgot Flanders Could Do That: After Randy's screen time in the past few seasons focused primarily on his childish obsession with Tegridy Farms, this episode returns him to being a caring parent towards Stan and he joins him in the airsoft match to take down the teenagers. Foreshadowing: The moment Kyle's teenager arrives at his home, he's arguing with his mom. Said mother tells Kyle that he's his problem now. Freeze-Frame Bonus: During the game of airsoft, Kyle hits Cartman, only for Cartman to claim that Kyle didn't hit him. Despite that claim, pausing reveals that he did get hit on his shoulder and actually winced at the hit. Gatling Good: Jimbo brings an airsoft minigun to the battlefield, which he uses to mow down several teenagers. Gonk: All of the teenagers are rather ugly, with each of them having visible zits and some having more detailed lips. Groin Attack: Cartman fires many BB pellets on his teenager, many of which hit him in the privates. Growing Up Sucks: At the end, Randy laments that in a few years, the Boys will become teenagers themselves. Gerald agrees, but takes comfort in knowing that they still have a few years left with the Boys before they do. Hate Sink: The teenagers here are presented in a completely negative light in this episode, being obnoxious and childish to the Boys throughout the episode while possessing little to no redeeming qualities. It makes watching the Boys, their fathers, and Jimbo, team up and beat them in airsoft all the more satisfying. Hated by All: Everyone in the episode hates the teenagers for being so immature and unbearable to be around. They're so insufferable to be around that the Boys consider quitting airsoft completely, just so they won't have to put up with them anymore. Even Cartman can't find himself to like them. The mother of Kyle's teenager flat-out leaves him at Kyle's doorstep. It's heavily implied that the parents of the other teenagers hate them as well since they left them at the other three boys' homes as well. The owners of the airsoft field and gun store only seem to put up with them because they're paying customers. Hormone-Addled Teenager: Cartman's teen is a compulsive masturbator, as evidenced by his frequent trips to the bathroom and the amount of lotion he uses. Cartman doesn't figure this out until the final airsoft game, as he is under the assumption the teen wants his hands as soft as possible. Hypocrites: The teenagers complain about playing airsoft against the 4th Grade boys, say